Handshakes

It says so much about a person. A handshake.

You may experience feeble, watery grips and firm, arrogant clamps and there is nothing more unnerving than being on the receiving end of a fish limp hand, it smacks of disinterest and insecurity.

The deliverer of the shake is atypical. You may encounter an intimidating business type figure who will furnish you with a paw so weak that their fingers will only brush yours slightly, so like a fleeting smoky cloud caressing a mountain ridge, or indeed you may happen upon an elderly person with a greeting so strong, you are lifted from your feet.

One can tell quite a lot from a handshake. I recall in University there were rumours about a classmate who had supposedly joined the clergy. I met him on campus one day and he greeted me with the most priestly like handshake imaginable. He bowed his head earnestly towards me, pulled my hand to him and covered both of our hands with his left palm. Right there and then, I knew he must have been well on his way to sainthood.

Unfortunately a funeral will afford the most opportunity to examine handshake etiquette on a mass scale. You will find that some people will clasp your hand by just one finger, not utter a single word but will give you sorrowful eyes, a head tilt and then move swiftly to the next mourner. Others will clutch your hand with an element of violence and then vigorously shake same while repeatedly whispering the same monotone sympathies to each member of the grieving family. You will also meet the inquisitive grasp. This person will hold your hand tightly and insistently, look at you wide-eyed and ask probing, mostly inappropriate, questions about the deceased’s final moments. Then you have the professional. This person is usually unaccompanied and his handshake is brisk. To maximise time, he will crossover his hands to greet two people at once, offering rehearsed condolences.

If you have an opportunity to attend an interview, the tip most frequently given is to ensure you greet your potential new employers with a firm handshake. A friend of mine is the kind of girl who when she greets friends, she gives them a kiss on the cheek. She was recently interviewing for a position with a large banking corporation and as she entered the boardroom, she was met with three top officials. She reached out and took the first gentleman’s hand firmly and then without thinking, she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek! She then felt obliged to kiss the other two remaining interviewers to make the whole fiasco seem somewhat normal! Needless to say, she got the job!